Road to the 2026 TCS NYC Marathon
Training for the 2026 TCS NYC Marathon has officially begun. This is a yearly happening for me, and has been since I first gained an entry via the lottery (an 11% chance!) in 2017. After that first experience running the five boroughs from Staten Island to Central Park, partaking in all that is this magnificent city, I was hooked. I felt like a rock star running through each of the distinct areas, from Brooklyn and its bar scene in Williamsburg to the Bronx with its music and energy. Millions of people spent their day cheering and supporting the 50,643 runners of all levels, from the elites to back of the packers. NY comes out for us all!
That first year Shalane Flanagan was the first American woman to win since Miki Gorman’s 1977 victory, an especially unforgettable moment for me as a Shalane superfan! (And her cookbooks are amazing!) Running along the same route as some of my favorite athletes was a unique experience that we, as runners have. And to do it in NYC was memorable. It was the first of many to come, and I am now at the start of that journey again, for my 8th year (2020 was cancelled).
Us northern hemisphere folk must begin training in the heat of the summer when running a fall marathon like NY, Chicago, or Philadelphia. I have been slowly increasing my mileage since the beginning of July, adding each week to my long run and fine tuning my recovery and cross training activities. I do this each year despite nagging injuries, fatigue, or the hell that is New England humidity. But each year I push through, each year I spend countless hours running, foam rolling, strength training, and crying. The question is: Why? Do I train for 16 weeks, working my up to a 20 mile long run to show that yes, I can run that far despite my lack of athletic prowess for most of my child and adulthood? Do I lace up, take the subway to the ferry to the bus to the start village, hours before I actually run, to challenge myself and achieve my goal? In part, yes. But there is something else driving me, and that is the desire to prove that I am enough, that I am worthy of accolades, and that I have a place here.
Recently I finished episode 431 of Glennon Doyle’s podcast “We Can Do Hard Things” featuring Melissa Arnot Reid,(first woman to summit Everest without supplemental oxygen) author of Enough: Climbing Toward a True Self on Mount Everest. Reid discussed the internal voice of unworthiness which sparred her to searching for validation for her accomplishments. I related to the idea of external validation as a vessel for fostering an internal sense of value. Do I need to continually prove that I am enough? When do I need to stop proving that I am worthy of time, attention, and resources? These are the questions that have been percolating since listening to Reid discuss her various trips to the highest peak on Earth. As a professional people pleaser and perfectionist I have spent countless hours attempting to fit into society’s ideals, be it body size, or career trajectory. As someone with neurodivergence I have struggled with my own sensitivity to rejection in all of its forms. I have been called too fat, too skinny, too sensitive, too quiet, and too much. But there is always another “too.” I have tried the status quo, but it does not suit me. I do not attempt fad diets anymore; I stay away from fashion magazines; I went to college; I tried it all “the right way.” But how do I know that I am enough? When I complete that 20th marathon? When I write a best seller? When will I finally realize that external validation means nothing if I do not value myself, wholly, without any question or doubt? I do not have the answers to the questions I ask, merely whisps of insights swirling, surfacing, retreating, only to surface again as I open my heart to opportunities, and continue to listen to those who travel that bumpy dirt road with me.
Read More about my experiences in the NYC Marathon:
Laura Smith Writer 
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