I like to think of life as one giant scavenger hunt, with participants searching for love, joy, and contentment. Each time we solve a clue, we are lead to the next, getting closer and closer to our final destinations. When I was a child I longed for the Barbie Dreamhouse. When I was a teenager I thought that Barnes and Noble gift cards would fulfill me, and I would rip open my stocking in search of the coveted plastic card. Each desire was a clue, pointing me in the direction of my desires. What is my purpose, my dharma?

Some spiritual teachers ask us to think back to what made us happy as children. I was most happy reading books; my mom seems to always tell everyone at gatherings that I was potty-trained because of my love for books. I also enjoyed playing “teacher” in a shed my dad converted into a one room school house. This renovated tool shed had a window with curtains, a blackboard and carpeting. I would be the teacher and my sister the student. I would teach my classes then retreat to the closet where I had all of my books arranged with library cards glued in the back. I also loved gymnastics, moving my body, running and leaping into a cartwheel in the yard. As I aged I still enjoyed flips and books, but diet culture snuck in and I hid my body and its prowess. I downplayed my intellectualism at school because girls were “not that smart” and I did not want any attention. I experimented with drugs and alcohol, so usually did not have the bandwidth to read my beloved books or care about life in general. I lost myself, and when I finally achieved physical sobriety I had to join the scavenger hunt again, looking for the lost clues which would lead me to love, joy, and contentment.

My childhood activities morphed into adult desires. It took me awhile to actively begin the hunt again, but I managed to become an English teacher, recreating my childhood game in the playhouse (this time with white boards and expo markers.) I created a classroom library for my students and voraciously read and study (my 3 Master’s degrees are a testament to this as well as my inability to make healthy financial decisions). I joined a circus class in my mid forties and had fun moving my body on the lyra and trapeze, and teach yoga classes. I look forward to finding the next clue, and as my Gemini interests are so varied I could be happy reading tarot cards or writing a novel that takes place in medieval France and centers around an illuminated manuscript. The joy comes from the discovery and the challenge, and I hope that you all join me on the hunt.