Feeling Small

I recently traveled to California (see previous post) for a family wedding. My husband and I, after the festivities were over, did some exploring along the coast before heading back home to the Berkshires, with its rolling hills and varied landscapes. We found a state park home to redwood trees and marveled at how small one could feel in the world. Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park was home to 40 acres of old growth redwoods. We took the easy mile loop which passed by the largest tree, 277 feet tall and 1500 years old.

We weren’t equipped for one of the more strenuous hikes, but enjoyed our time within the presence of these magnificent trees. The image in this post is of me inside the Fremont tree. What have these trees bared witness to over the course of their lifetimes? As I wade into my early fifties I juggle with the thoughts that I have lived probably more than half of my life. What do I have to show for it? Without getting too maudlin, our lives are merely flickers within the time that our universe has been expanding. We are pretty insignificant. That gives me a modicum of comfort, because really, that mistake I made yesterday…nothing in the grand scheme of life. Just a flash within my own lifetime, but invisible within the scope of life here. Yet what legacy will I leave behind? I am on summer break, and really all I want to do is get lost in a mindless beach read instead of revisiting a manuscript which has been languishing away in my hard drive. The question for today is, what do I want to leave behind? What do I want others to know me for? How can I contribute to the world today?

Leave a comment

About Me

I wrote and published my first blog post on May 26, 2009. I was about to turn 36 and had been accepted to Mount Holyoke College as a non-traditional student, on my way to completing a Bachelor of Arts in English with a minor in Medieval Studies. I had managed, finally, to know what general direction I was traveling. As a self proclaimed voracious reader I knew that I needed a vocation that would allow me to engage daily with words: reading words, writing words, and hearing words. I also needed to eat, so I navigated my way to a teaching position and I began to fine tune my craft. I love to teach and I love my students, but I also needed to continue to hone my own literary technique, voice, and style. I continued my education in order to delve deeper into literature, making connections, and most definitely, writing. I gained more confidence as a reader as well as a writer of both creative and analytical text. That first blog post in 2009 is short, the writing average, and the topic mundane, but as I continued to learn from other writers I began to understand that to become a better writer I needed to write more. Each time I write and release a poem, a post, or a story, I hone my skills. I invite you along for the ride, for this journey of mine as I attempt to wrangle a wealth of ideas and competing directions into an organized freshly paved path to publication. I might get distracted along the way, but sometimes those detours lead us to amazing views and new friends. 

Is this your new site? Log in to activate admin features and dismiss this message
Log In