The move is complete, I am settling into a beautiful new home and I am grateful. Most of the boxes are unpacked and I am slipping into a new routine. I look out the window at the mist sinking down onto the mountain, my Christmas tree is nestled into the bay window and a water fountain adds some soothing noise. This is where God has led me, I had been scared to leave my old place, scared that I would miss the beauty of the backyard and pond, but I have slipped into a space that suits me and everything I love. The brain shoots right back to fear though and I could be admiring the view and the creamy colored walls and want more from God. I can zero in on what my life lacks right now, and the only thing my ego thinks it lacks is a full time “real” job, a constant source of income, guaranteed with health insurance to boot. I am currently in an on call position which requires constant surrender. I need to surrender my schedule and my paycheck to my Higher Source. I don’t know from day to day if I will work and that is scary. But as I sit here today I realize that I have always had enough, no matter what I take home via payroll. I always have a home, food and heat, somehow these details are taken care of, but with vigilance on my part. I have to surrender my fears and my will and my life over to God, on a daily basis. It feels as if I am trudging my way through a 300 level class at college. But as with the class, if I do the work, keep up with the course load and go easy on myself, I end up making it through. I won’t be in this financial position forever, I did the leg work, got the degree, I search the job boards and I understand that I will receive exactly it is I need to receive, and usually the gifts are greater than I ever could have imagined. I know that as fact when I look around my living room and curl up with a book and blanket.
● About Me
I wrote and published my first blog post on May 26, 2009. I was about to turn 36 and had been accepted to Mount Holyoke College as a non-traditional student, on my way to completing a Bachelor of Arts in English with a minor in Medieval Studies. I had managed, finally, to know what general direction I was traveling. As a self proclaimed voracious reader I knew that I needed a vocation that would allow me to engage daily with words: reading words, writing words, and hearing words. I also needed to eat, so I navigated my way to a teaching position and I began to fine tune my craft. I love to teach and I love my students, but I also needed to continue to hone my own literary technique, voice, and style. I continued my education in order to delve deeper into literature, making connections, and most definitely, writing. I gained more confidence as a reader as well as a writer of both creative and analytical text. That first blog post in 2009 is short, the writing average, and the topic mundane, but as I continued to learn from other writers I began to understand that to become a better writer I needed to write more. Each time I write and release a poem, a post, or a story, I hone my skills. I invite you along for the ride, for this journey of mine as I attempt to wrangle a wealth of ideas and competing directions into an organized freshly paved path to publication. I might get distracted along the way, but sometimes those detours lead us to amazing views and new friends.
Laura Smith Writer 
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