I have always harbored a negative connotation for the word “expectation” and I am not sure why. Some folks say that expectations are premeditated resentments. This can be true, although an expectation is awaiting a future event, but I seem to place expectations on people as well. I expect that so and so will do this, or act in such a way. I believe that I set the bar extremely high so that when one does not live up to my ideal I will have an excuse to a) feel sorry for myself or b) feel superior. What is missing is a positive expectation, such as “I expect that this day will be amazing, fantastic and filled with wonder.” Why does my human brain go right into a fear- based attitude? Am I devolving? Am I returning to my cave girl roots when I needed to be prepared for hungry T-Rex s, or rather saber – toothed tigers? I somehow need to train my brain to expect positive outcomes rather than heading straight to fear. Life isn’t meant to be difficult, it is meant to be filled with love. I usually place expectations on those that are closest to me, and rather than ask for what I need in a relationship I expect the other person to read my mind and provide me with whatever it is that they supposedly should be providing me with. This is not fair to others. It also leaves my Higher Power standing there, ready to provide me with what I actually need rather than what I think I need. So my expectations are one more thing that keep me from a full and loving relationship with God. Plain and simple. Today I am choosing to turn over my expectations to my God. I know that in doing so I will have an amazing love-filled day. As long as I remember that whatever happens in this day is for my highest good. I don’t plan on meeting any hungry extinct creatures and should stop planning for their arrival. Instead I look forward to a day brimming with light and love. There, that’s not so scary is it?
● About Me
I wrote and published my first blog post on May 26, 2009. I was about to turn 36 and had been accepted to Mount Holyoke College as a non-traditional student, on my way to completing a Bachelor of Arts in English with a minor in Medieval Studies. I had managed, finally, to know what general direction I was traveling. As a self proclaimed voracious reader I knew that I needed a vocation that would allow me to engage daily with words: reading words, writing words, and hearing words. I also needed to eat, so I navigated my way to a teaching position and I began to fine tune my craft. I love to teach and I love my students, but I also needed to continue to hone my own literary technique, voice, and style. I continued my education in order to delve deeper into literature, making connections, and most definitely, writing. I gained more confidence as a reader as well as a writer of both creative and analytical text. That first blog post in 2009 is short, the writing average, and the topic mundane, but as I continued to learn from other writers I began to understand that to become a better writer I needed to write more. Each time I write and release a poem, a post, or a story, I hone my skills. I invite you along for the ride, for this journey of mine as I attempt to wrangle a wealth of ideas and competing directions into an organized freshly paved path to publication. I might get distracted along the way, but sometimes those detours lead us to amazing views and new friends.
Laura Smith Writer 
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